Just a thought
I've been thinking a lot after reading vmac + cheese's post "For Better of For Worse." As I've mentioned in some of my posts, my fiancé and I are currently planning our wedding, and Victoria's post hit a raw note. Throughout our planning process, one thing we realized was that people were constantly comparing our ideas to past weddings or other couples who are also planning their weddings. While searching for a suitable venue in Singapore, we realized that most vendors and acquaintances we spoke to were more concerned about the perception a venue held (a la 'The most expensive venue in the city' or 'the "It" spot') rather than recommending one based on our requirements for the night. There's no doubt that we like a nice venue, but we also believe that a simple venue can be personalized. It's all about the small details that make it so much more meaningful, and it really surprised us how much people plan their wedding to show off rather than to celebrate their love.
Another thing we realized was that many ladies (I know I might receive a lot of flak for saying this, but I'll say it anyways) are very quick to judge instead of wanting to encourage. I know a lot of ladies will get mad, but think about it - when was the last time you heard a man judge a wedding the way a woman does (unless it was reaaaally bad)? Most men, when asked about weddings, will mostly say "Best wedding ever," "Such a fun wedding," "Boring" or "It was decent." They don't ridicule the couple's idea (and effort) or go into detail about how it paled in comparison to another couple's wedding. They tell you how they feel, which is "I had fun" or "I was bored," and that is how it should be! People should have fun at weddings. It's not a competition! Ladies who have planned weddings know how overwhelming it can be, and for those who haven't done so, it is stressful and overwhelming, and you'll realize that when you have to plan yours. If there's one thing I've learned from planning my wedding (and I've learned plenty, considering how clueless I was when we first started) is that us ladies should judge less, and focus on inspiring one another. After all, most of us just really want to celebrate our love and spread the joy.
It's Friday, fiancé's home from business travel, pets are needy, and my wine's getting warm. Have a great weekend! x